In the Thick of It

I notice it in the quiet of the night and the dead of the afternoon, the moments pull me in and I take a deep breath. This is what life is all about. It’s the rocking my sweet toddler and the giggles and the kisses. It’s the sound of her little voice throughout the day and the burst of “Daddy!” the moment she hears the door open when Ryan arrives from work. Or the way Ryan hugs me and gives me a kiss when he’s home for the night and he’s all ours for the evening. Or the way she talks our ear off, all day every day.

This is it, this is what life is all about.  

It’s everything I ever wanted and more and I’m in the thick of it, clinging on to this moment and the next. Moments of life that I want to bottle up into my heart and hang onto forever because they are just too precious to slip away. It’s the way A apologizes with a kiss every time and she’s persistant to even when we’re trying to be stern those sweet puckering lips won’t give in until she lays one on us. It’s her gentle, compassionate spirit that stops what she’s doing the moment she hears our yorkie hyperventilating to go pat him on his back and console him. It’s the little moments, in every single day, that make me notice that even on the days I’m a little less patient that I want to be, she’s learning big important things. She’s learning my heart and the love that I have for her and she’s spreading it all around her little personality.

I look down at my feet, a dancing, eager, sweet toddler watching me. She’s taking it all in, my every move. Sweet, excited words come from her, “ma! Mama! Mama!” I hear this countless times and I think about how long I waited to hear those words. I hold on to them for just a moment and hold them close. I know it a moment of blinking it’ll all change and she’ll be grown.

Right now though, I’m soaking it in and she’s soaking all of me. There is nothing more that she enjoys than knowing I and her daddy delight in her. She has her rebellious moments but there are few things like make her light up than knowing we are proud of her.

I never really knew how much having a girl would change me, change the way I look at things and change the woman that I want to be to lead her by example.I breathe it in again, bottling it up and holding this moment close once again. My sweet girl who is growing up so fast, is still my little baby for all of now and forever. These are the days I’ll cherish forever.

  I feel the sweet kicks of the sweet boy I get to meet face to face in just a short few weeks and even in the aching moments, I’m so lucky to carry this little life inside of me. The feel every movement, the