Lately

Hello Friends! How are you this Tuesday? I have missed you. I know I have been around but I have missed really talking to you. I mean really telling you what’s going on here, but the truth is life has been a little crazy, a little busy and a bit stressful but I want to talk to you and in fact I wish we could get together for a chat in person, but we can’t so this will have to do. But if we could…..

I would tell you that the last week or so has been a trying one. The kind of week where everything you can think of coming your way, does and you kind of wonder what on else can come your way, yep one of those weeks. The kind of weeks where you focus on the good stuff and realize that sometimes we just have to be down on our luck and we have to have some bad so we appreciate the good; that some things happen and catch us off guard leaving us wondering “what the? just my luck” but maybe it so we learn our lesson well, in a way we don’t forget it.  And I would tell you that it makes me grateful for the husband that I have that I know whatever comes out way, we go through it together – and grateful that he knows my heart and on a tough week, even a small bouquet of flowers is something I appreciate so much.

I would tell you that last Sunday night March 10th, Ryan’s granddad passed away, it was the only granddad he had the opportunity to know, and that yesterday we said goodbye at his memorial service. I would tell you that A did great the entire time, and that goodbyes aren’t always so easy. His granddad was a good man, but unfortunately had been sick for quite some time, first Parkinson’s then Dementia, and that he is no longer suffering and that’s the most important factor in it all.  Death always makes me think about life and how much we need to embrace it, and those who are in it.

I would tell you that this last Sunday, St. Patty’s Day, we celebrated the “luck” (and by luck I mean blessing) that we had last year. The kind of luck where I woke up early for work and climbed out of bed and headed into the bathroom where I knew I was a single day late, and I stared at the last pregnancy test. Part of me saying “you’ve taken this test a million times and its negative. Skip it.” And another part of me whispering, “do it. Take the test, this time is different” and the frugal part of me saying “if you take the test and its negative you’re gonna have to fork out more money on tests, you know that right?” But I listened to the whisper of my heart and there appeared two pink lines. My heart overjoyed. I knew I could take another but I knew, I only needed this one test. My heart danced and I did everything not to squeal with excitement since Ryan was still asleep in the other room. So I got ready for the day, my mind racing in the shower with excitement and I proceeded to get around.  So we celebrated that here we are one year later, with a beautiful 4 month old little girl that made me a mama and change both of our hearts in ways we’d never be able to imagine.

I would tell you that I decided to let go of some stress, that I was allowing in my life. The kind of stress I had to give myself permission to let go of, to let certain opportunities go because although they were opportunities that many would have given a lot for, and that were exciting for a while I already had the chance to live them and frankly they hold nothing to me being a mama, and the stress I would cause myself – necessary or not – to still keep those opportunities. So, I let them go.  And with letting it go I freed up a lot of unnecessary “stress” taking up energy, and you know what? It feels amazing.

I would tell you that this mama thing? I adore it. I can’t believe A is already 4 months and I have loved every. single. second. of being a mama. I know some of you will roll your eyes and say “you can’t love every single second” but the truth is, I really, really do and with all of my heart I mean that. Being a mama is the one thing I have always been certain I wanted to be, and there for a while we didn’t think it was actually going to happen and by golly it did and I am soaking. it. up.

I would tell you that we’ve been enjoying the spring like weather around here lately. There’s been some extremely random snow showers, which makes you go…”huh?” but the fact is we need to snow, so I won’t complain but it does make me super happy when it snows on the weekend because I know what stress is causes Ryan’s work week. The weather has been mostly beautiful though, so we have been able to open the windows and take some walks around the neighborhood lately which I am loving and so is A. And opening the house up makes it feel so much fresher.

And lastly I would tell you that although Google Reader is leaving, and at first I was a little…less than thrilled…I decided I was going to embrace it and so I tossed GFC and would love for you to follow me on Bloglovin!