Being Mindful on the Internet
The Internet. Social Media. The two tools that help news and images spread like a wild fire amped up on accelerant. With this there are pros and there are cons that come with that. You know of news around the world within moments. People can share milestones with hundred or thousands in mere seconds of it happening. Twenty five years ago things were very, very different. Memories were developed on camera film and stuck into little books. That’s where my childhood memories are. There’s something to them every time I take them out, holding that memory in my hand. There was a large sense of privacy too – close friends or family saw silly (or embarrassing) things – not thousands or millions of others. Unless someone broke into a house or stole from the local photography developer your images weren’t stolen.
Things were quieter and more private back then.
Today images are yanked from all outlets even when you have an added level of protection. Images are posted and spread across the Internet that others might not want shared. It happens every single day.
I’ve always been mindful of what I post, especially of others – if it’s something I wouldn’t want posted of myself, I don’t post it of someone else. Period. I don’t get joy out of humiliating others especially when it comes to my family. I don’t care if it’s images or it’s words.
We must be mindful. The things placed on the internet cannot be taken back. I’ll never bad mouth my husband on twitter or even my kid – why? Because I wouldn’t want to see them do it to me and I wouldn’t want them see me being hateful or hurtful towards them.
I see it all the time.
Wives angry their husbands worked late and they were alone with the kiddos an extra hour and a half.
I see mamas posting their kids having tantrums or acting out and captions saying harsh things.
I’m not going to judge. It’s their business, I just can’t help but wonder “is that someone you would want them to see next week? In 5 years? In 20?” Sometimes being a wife is tough, sometimes being a parent is tough. I get it. Social media makes it easy to share every detail, every thought very quickly. Thoughts good and bad flood timelines. I understand the concept of “being real” and sharing “real life” but can’t that be done without chucking loved ones under the metaphorical bus? I believe it’s possible to share real live and edit things out that affect others. I really, really do.
When I scroll through my feeds on twitter and on Instagram I don’t expect to see perfection. I like seeing real life – messy kitchens, meals that got a little too “golden brown to be super delicious”, I like to see messy art workspaces and less than perfect DIYs because those things are very real but they aren’t hurtful. The other posts though? They’ve made me unfollow others (or seriously consider doing so) because I don’t want to be a part of the negative sharing and shaming – seemingly encouraging it.
Great post. I totally agree. I also try to keep myself in check when it comes to what I post.
It can be tough for sure but good for you for keeping yourself in check 🙂
I completely agree with you, Kristina! We all have our negative moments, but adding someone else to the equation is unfair when they are unable to defend themselves or respond in any way. I read a blog post last week in which a woman really put her husband under the bus in public, and she claimed she was just “being real” about her marriage. For me, it wasn’t about being real. It was about respecting your partner, and issues that she put out there just aren’t meant to be shared with everyone. I think we often feel as though being real is necessary, but you’re absolutely right– share the real aspect of your messy house or burned dinner, not the personal details of your rough marriage because those are private things that deserve to be hashed out between two people with respect.
Yes! There is being real and there is crossing a line. I think a lot of times the line is crossed. It is one thing to express marriage can be tough but it’s another to get into details and toss someone under the bus. I really don’t understand why things aren’t private like they used to be. No matter how frustrated I get in parenting or marriage I can’t ever bring myself to putting it out there for the world to see. Things cannot be taken back and I don’t know if people realize that, or care for that matter. I’ve seen well written posts that are about rough things and lessons learned that are written tactfully and I’ve read rants. One is okay…one isn’t.
i absolutely agree w/ you hear! that’s someone that that has always bothered me, even w/ that silly pet shaming thing that was popular a while back, which of course is different because the pet could never see it & get hurt, but I just found it strange and immature since pets dont intentionally do mean things. just like babies of course, and well I guess toddlers maybe do, and we adults certainly do, but I agree even more with you that it’s important to respect other people’s privacy and not share those things. and most importantly, recognize that everyone has their issues they’re going through and we wouldn’t want someone putting our dirty laundry in that way, whether a parent, kid, or partner. really glad you brought up this topic!
So so true. I’ve watched so many wives, mamas and friends post things that they can’t take back. I don’t judge but I often wish I could remind people that they’re social media accounts aren’t diaries! Besides, isn’t there enough negativity in the world? I say let’s keep our posts real and positive. Even on bad days, there is a shining light 🙂